“Life isn’t about finding yourself it’s about creating yourself” – anonymous. This was once one of my favorite quotations. Now, I’ve evolved and with that I’ve personalised this quote to closer match what I’ve learnt, which is that life is not finding yourself or creating a new you. When it comes to self fulfillment, life is more about perfecting YOU! You are the most precious gem that you will ever possess in this life. It’s just up to you whether you want to be a rough diamond or whether you want to polish up and shine bright.
When trying to find yourself, you’re implying that you’re lost to yourself, but if you look in a mirror you will see that you are there just as you have always been and always will be. If there is anything you can’t lose it’s you. You’re not lost, just failing to recognise your own presence, your own greatness, the potency of your being. You’re just not feeling you. Polish up and let’s see if you don’t see yourself beaming back at you. Don’t go on another day being dull.
When creating yourself, what you create is an ideal of who you want to be and busy yourself creating a person of fiction. Trying to be someone else, suppressing the true you with a cover up, alter ego or whatever you may want to call it, may work and even feel great for a short time but how long do you think you can keep acting? If you paint a diamond it will never be as beautiful as the real thing and finally the paint will chip, leaving an ugly mess. Then what, do you add another layer of paint or strip it down and polish up to expose raw unchallenged beauty?
This is not to say that you can’t make changes to improve your personality but creating a completely new person, is a lot of work and may not be as fulfilling as you desire when you get there, not to mention perhaps not emotionally nor psychologically healthy. Again if you place you energy into polishing YOU, you will see that the brightness of your own beauty as a person in side and out is dazzling. There is nothing and no one like you and really nothing more fulfilling than growing into your own full potential.
The problem that many of us have is that we have spent too much time trying to be someone else, to fit someone else’s expectations of who we should be, family, friends, lovers, society. Now our own true self had been covered by so many layers that we feel lost, confused and even unhappy. As women we are more prone to adapting their personality, setting aside themselves and converting to be the person that they feel the people around them need and we are so good at it that it may takes us years before we realise that we are far away from who we truly are, want to be or even true inner happiness.
The objective is to get to know who you are in your truest form. Your likes, your dislikes, your motivations, what inspires and excites you without outside influence. Start from the inside, try to shut of all the influences that usually rule your space. This may mean taking time out from the things that you are used to doing habitually and the people you are used to seeing, the places you are used to going. You need time with you and only you. I can’t say how much time you will need, we are all so different for me it took 7-8 weeks of time and space to be totally me, working on whatever whims that came purely from my own mind and I’m polishing up nicely but it’s a working progress, with good and bad days. Most importantly, I am happier with me than I have ever been, because I am allowing myself grow into being the inner me, doing what I like, what I want, working with how I feel, polishing and perfecting me.
Perfecting yourself, is not possible without really freeing your time to be with yourself. Before I leave you here let me further clarify that perfecting yourself is not about becoming super human but instead about giving 100% to everything that you are and do to your own greatest satisfaction.